Father?s Day is one of the toughest days of the year for many people. It doesn?t matter if a person is 7 or 70, the acknowledgment of one?s father is either a joyous occasion, an empty one, or an all out struggle. The role of father is ambiguous if a father is absent physically or emotionally. For some men, it is hard to model something that you have never seen.??Raised by my mother and having never met my biological father, I yearned for that fatherly example.? It wasn?t until later in my life that I looked?to the Bible and saw God?s expectations of fathers.? Eventually,?my brother Alan?and a few men of the church became great role models, but prior to that, my?ideas of fatherhood came from television or film.? Here are a few things I learned about fatherhood:
The Beaver?s Dad.? In the television series ?Leave it to Beaver?,? the hard working, stern, and straightforward father, Ward, became the ideal representation of fatherhood for most of us who are 40 plus.? He had the respect of his children, the love of his wife and the authority in is home.? Fathers like this take their responsibility seriously.? They are provider and protector for the family, and are involved in the children?s lives.? Ward was the disciplinarian.? The statement ?wait until your father gets home? resonated strongly with Ward?s children.? Yet in most episodes, Ward disciplined not with the iron hand that is insinuated but with a logical, convicting resolution.? Fathers like this look to uphold peace and respect in the home without having to intimidate their children.? These fathers set standards and expectations for the family and help the children meet those standards in a loving way.
JJ?s Dad.? Remember the show ?Good Times?? This show told the story of a poor African-American family living in the housing projects of Chicago and held together by a loving mother and a tough-as-nails father. James Evans made sure that his children did not fall victim to the craziness of the inner-city. Instead, he worked hard to make sure they were provided for, he encouraged them to succeed at everything that they did, and he intervened quickly when one stepped out of line. Though his methods may seem harsh to some, this is a father that understood his family was in an environment that required strict parameters and accountability.? Fathers?should make sure their children are successful no matter what their surroundings.
Theo Huxtable?s Dad.? Bill Cosby portrayed an educated, professional father that was highly involved in the lives of his children.? He did more than just wear cool sweaters, he modeled that one could have a successful career and balance that with taking the time to have fun with and celebrate family. He kept the children exposed to culture (jazz, fine art), while navigating their academic success or?failures (like the infamous drop-out Denise or Theo thinking he was ready to live on his own).??It is a great thing when fathers model love and learning to their children, and are willing to be vulnerable in making the home a?pleasant environment.
Nemo?s Dad. This one influenced me more recently,?and I know it?s?a cartoon clown fish.? But sometimes children?get lost, whether it is by the choices they make or the fault of others. Nemo?s dad, Marlin, doesn?t hesitate to seek after his son, he sees him in trouble, and goes after him. This is a ?dad? that knows his child needs help and he is willing to go through hell and high water (pun intended) to get his son back.? Fathers should not settle for their children living recklessly.? Even when a mistake is made,?Fathers ought to go after the child and restore him.
Simba?s Dad.? One of my favorite movies ever, ?The Lion King?, shows the sacrifice a father, Mufasa, makes for his son Simba.? He teaches him, rescues him, and helps him to understand who he is.? Even after Mufasa is no longer with Simba because of death, his influence is still there.? Fathers should invest in children in such a way that legacy lives on.? A good father will not hold back in helping a child take hold of his destiny and becoming who he is created to be.?
Thankfully, now I search scriptures, seek God?s will, and?lead my family through service.? I don?t rely on fiction, but the reality of my?God-given responsibilities to all of my children.? Television showed me models of fatherhood, but my relationship with God taught me how to BE a father.? But I must admit,?every now and then if you show up at my home at the right time, you may find me doing a crazy dance in the living room.? All that?s missing is one of those cool sweaters.
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