Toddler and dog...WWYD when visiting family?

Author Message Anonymous

My sister and her dog and myself and my toddler will all be staying at my parents home this wknd. I have a general but not over the top distrust of dogs with children. My family dog bit my sister unexpectedly growing up and we chose to send him off to a childless family. Given that both the child and the dog will be out of their home environments, I am even a little more wary than I might be otherwise and the dog is a recent adoption (maybe 6 months ago). Anyway, that's the backstory, no drama, just wondering what precautions you would take. Thanks! Anonymous

Never leave them alone together. Closely supervise. But I do that with my OWN dog and toddler. Anonymous

How old is your toddler? I've taught mine to stick out his hand and wait for dog to sniff / lick / examine. Other than that, I'm not sure.... I'm not really comfortable with dogs around children myself. That said, most of my friends with dogs know if their dogs tolerate kids or not, and put them in the yard or garage or crate if they themselves are nervous. GL! Anonymous

Don't know that this will help, but sharing my recent experience as DD recently got "snapped at" by a dog my neighbor was keeping for the weekend.

DD and the dog have been around each other several times previously with no incidents, but this time I guess the dog was nervous or tired or whatever. He didn't break DD's skin or anything, but she definitely felt it.

They had been around each other for about 30 min, I am always there and never leave her alone with the dog, always make sure DD is gentle and waits a few min before that initial reaching of the hand out for dog to sniff and get to know, etc. He had been a bit grumpy generally, and may have been upset as his owner had just come back from her trip and was holding DD. DD got off the owner's lap, came to sit on the sofa next to me, and then crawled on my lap. Dog was on the other side of me, DD half-reached her hand to dog, dog snapped at her arm.

Don't know what precautions you can take other than the above and being sensitive to the dog's mood. This dog is not known as a biter, but every dog is potentially one/can be overwhelmed, upset, etc. Also, this dog lives with just the owner, i.e. one adult, no kids, so hopefully your sister's dog is used to children.

It could be that nothing at all will happen. But there's always that chance...

Anonymous

Do you know what kind of dog it is? As far as what breed? Anonymous

He is mostly boxer, but not completely known heritage. Dd is 19 mo. And at a minimum I won't leave them alone together, but as pp's story shows, a nip could still take place...I will just try to keep them relatively far, but I don't want to constantly be making a big deal about it. Would prefer to have some rule in place, like dog outside while kid is up, but we are going to be outside too at times. Anonymous

Look. If the dog snapped at the kid, he didn't almost bite her. Dogs know what they are doing with their mouths. That was a warning. Anonymous

Keep your eye on your DD and make sure she gives the dog some space. The PP suggestion to let the dog approach you is a good one. I have two kids and a great family dog but even he got annoyed when our inlaws' 4 y.o. girl followed him everywhere and sat next to his bed for extended periods. He never growled or bit but did get a dour look on his face. As this dog is relatively new to your family, also watch out for food aggression, playfulness that leads to nipping and general dislike of children. Anonymous

I obviously don't know where you'll be staying, but if I was your sister I wouldn't be ok with my dog being outside all of the time your DD was awake. I would end up staying somewhere else. What about a baby gate at the kitchen so the dog can still be with everyone and interact, but they won't physically be together?

I have small dogs that my nieces and nephews know to just ignore and our big dog just knocks them over on accident sometimes other than that they're fine together but we use the baby gate if they need a break from each other

Anonymous

you can't kick the dog outside the entire time your kid is awake, especially in this heat. Try to keep them apart.

Agree with 17:09--put up a baby gate so the dog can still interact and see, but is out of the way.

Anonymous

Here's a novel idea--call your sister. Ask her what you can both bring/prepare to make sure everything goes smoothly. You may find that she is more uptight about this than you are. My dog is a complete sweetheart and fantastic with my kids but I always watch him like a hawk around other kids. I tend to put him upstairs or in another room whenever I can just do I can relax. Obviously that wouldn't work for a whole weekend but my point is don't assume your sister isn't going to be on top of this herself. If you really want to get off on the right foot, bring a special toy or treat for the dog to "console" him (really your sister) about being second fiddle or being confined, offer to take the dog for a walk while your sister plays with DC, and give the dog extra pets while your DC naps. I know it sounds silly but you want to make it clear that you don't think the dog is a bloodthirsty monster, you're just trying to err on the side of caution. Anonymous

This is an issue near and dear to my heart because my SIL and BIL (who have children) have had three dogs we've had to contend with. I'm an animal lover, but it pisses me off to no end when people elevate their animal's contentment to the same level as my child's safety. (Not saying that's what your sister is doing, just getting up on my soapbox for a minute.) My SIL and BIL had a dog who has actually bitten nearly every one of us, but that they claimed would never bite children. Luckily, he never did. He did growl once or twice and my husband punted him like the little football he looked like.

I'd just say that you should keep a close eye on them while they are in the same room and, provided the dog is friendly, use this opportunity to teach your child "dog etiquette" (put out your hand, don't pet underneath-- my 2 year old always seems to unknowingly reach for dog's genitals, don't pet "backwards," etc.) If the dog is skittish around your child, I'd strongly consider asking to keep the dog outside or gated in another room. Of course, if I felt like my kid's safety was at risk, I wouldn't give a lick if Fido felt left out.

Anonymous

OP why you refer to yourself as "myself"? Is there something wrong with "I"? As in "My sister and her dog and my toddler and I..."). I've noticed this strange affectation pop up over the past few years and I'm wondering there's any particular reason for it. Anonymous

My SIL and BIL had a dog who has actually bitten nearly every one of us, but that they claimed would never bite children. Luckily, he never did. He did growl once or twice and my husband punted him like the little football he looked like.

Your husband is a jerk (and I think maybe you are too). They said the dog wouldn't bite children -- and it didn't. It growled, and your husband kicked it?!?? That's abusive, and I would have thrown your sorry asses out of my house.

Anonymous

19 months is pretty young. She won't understand that concept of leaving the dog alone or approaching it nicely. I'd say monitor very closely when they are together, and otherwise, keep them separated. You might want to get a travel baby gate (or ask your sister if she has one for her dog). See about sectioning off part of the house to separate baby and dog. I do this when I travel to my parents house. I section off the dining room for the dog. It's still indoors; not like leaving the dog outdoors all day long. And it's still around where the people are; so it's not too isolating.

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