Before you start racing through another of my offensive article which probably would storm up a mega debate, let me chalk out a few ground rules. It sure makes me feel tremendously happy, orgasmic and ecstatic to see several spontaneous comments flooding every post of mine. Nevertheless it would be appreciated if we could post comments that are relevant to the contents of the write-up instead of going haywire and hysteric like one of those little headless chickens. We aren?t interested in your personal problems .We aren?t interested in your lame grievances. We aren?t interested if you are gay and nourish a certain curiosity about ?Things? which you are already gifted with naturally. We aren?t interested in lot many other things too. Grow up. Fix your issues. Don?t bother us. We are only interested in a healthy discussion, involving matured individuals capable of restricting their expert views and priceless opinions to the context. That, I am sure was rude enough. Good. So you are all set. Welcome and Read on.
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With the Earth?s upper atmosphere severely polluted with toxic gases, mortal humans involving in illicit affairs at random, changing conjugal partners at every late night party, guys applying fairness creams while Girls zoom off in heavy duty bikes, people uploading raunchy MMS and discovering intimacy bliss in same gender sex partners, God almighty has probably lost his sight, interest and hope on what humans are up to. ?Go Fuck yourself and die a Dog?s death you lousy Morons? ? was what our dear Lord had been updating on his Facebook status recently, through his heavenly Blackberry. Hence, Marriages aren?t made in heavens anymore. In fact few relationships, especially among the ultra-westernized youths are legally enforced or mutually yet unwillingly accepted, not through eternal spiritual forces powered by Cupid, but as a result of a fateful night with imported scotch and a broken condom. The elements of fate and luck can be, therefore, ruled out. Don?t feel plain lucky to have won yourself an amazing girl. Don?t feel euphoric and favored about your hi-profile boyfriend / husband. No lucks and favors here. If you were chosen, there definitely was a good reason and judgment behind the same.
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Boys and Girls have individual selection criteria when it comes to choosing their respective better halves. It?s similar to a mathematical equation which would be proved and satisfied, only with one fixed value of X. No matter, how many values you try out during the early adolescent period of life including college, just one value fulfills the equation of life long companionship. After a series of technologically powered internet friends, chat friends, Orkut crushes, Pen friends , college affairs, batch sweethearts , naughty flings , we eventually tend to get involved in diplomatic calculations , when it boils down to marriage. Phone numbers changed, social networking accounts blocked, mail ids deleted and all history diligently erased. It?s a rebirth of sorts. The wild guns mellow down to the matured and no-nonsense individuals, thereby ensuring the mathematical equation which finally worked out isn?t disrupted.
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The college beauty queen sure gets a lot of proposals. Yet to everyone?s utter surprise and confusion, the guy whom she eventually ties the knot is a new relatively unknown guy, who never featured in her list of admirers. In fact he looks too simple and ordinary. Well, it doesn?t matter. For guys, handsomeness isn?t a criterion good enough to draw you those impressive paychecks, savings account balance, apartment and luxury sedan unless the guy, with his killer looks, end up in some movie, modeling consignment or as a gigolo, pleasing physically frustrated aunties, for bountiful cash exchanges and STDs. Girls, irrespective of her childhood fascination for the George Clooney looks, finally settles for a guy who might look no better than our dear old Bollywood disaster Sunil Shetty or his close competitor Tushar Kapoor. While the guy, who was once a college heartthrob on his pretty hot bike, shapely muscles and long hair-do might have eventually joined the family business of mobile easy recharge and SIM cards. That sure isn?t an encouraging profile. Well, college, in spite of the Bollywood type filmi image, isn?t a place to just party and get laid. It would be wise to invest at least a substantial time with books, which would definitely contribute in paving the future 40-50-60 years of your life. So don?t be amazed if you see a fine lady clinging onto a seemingly average guy on the road. The guy might be smart enough to solve those scary 5 digit Binomial Series in ten seconds, whereas you might end up taking a good one year to solve the same, with a mild probability of not solving it at all.
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Guys, on the other hand, are mostly driven by beauty and elegance. Salary, Job profile and designation usually feature secondary on the criteria list. Not too many guys, after a hard day at office would prefer coming back home to an furious Entrepreneur wife hooked onto her laptop discussing sales figures , while the kids go to bed hungry and the poor husband tries to get some sleep on a cold bed. Instead , a sweet loving lady , with a warm smile , smelling of a provocative and sexy perfume, is all we need after a day long ordeal at office , trying to explain a bunch of racist , lunatic foreign clients , that India is not just about camels , slums and the lousy ?Anil Kapoor? in the latest sequel of Mission Impossible : The Ghost Protocol . We in fact are a superior race now, with skills sufficient to drive the technical development and support for the entire US and Europe Service Industry. Beauty, however, is a temporary asset. Once we are through with the criteria of beauty, the next would be a good heart and socially praiseworthy mannerism. A girl who could uphold the family values and gel in well with all the members. Therefore my angelic beautiful wife returning home at wee hours of night wearing hot pants with a Vodka pint in one hand and a burning cigarette in other , greeting my half asleep dad ? ?Hey Old man !! Wassup dude?? isn?t the definition of socially acceptable and praiseworthy mannerism. My aging father, still cocooned with his slightly orthodox believes, might part with his last breathe at the moderately unsettling sight of his daughter-in-law, decked up in an ultra-westernized rock star image.
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Relationships and companionship today are well calculated depending upon family standards, social standings, image, financial stability, etc. Rarely would you find a boy/girl falling for a girl/boy whose dad is an absconding and wanted murderer. Hence most of the ?Love Affairs? convert into ?Love Marriages? with ready approvals from the parents and without involving dramatic situations with a furious father, smoking barrels, hired muscleman, some mid-market action sequences, the friendly police officer and the homely girl eloping with the local unemployed youth. Ok?That was probably a short script right out of some crap Bengali movie, featuring an overweight aunty in bright red sari and the hero in disastrous bellbottom pants with hairy belly. In short , today a list of circumstantial calculations drives the young generation to choose better halves , not depending upon plain blind love , but through a series of screenings , which qualifies the chosen individual to be accepted into the family without raising eyebrows and evoking derogatory criticisms from our morally hyper and sexually hypocrite society.
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